Thinking Mind or Stressful Mind?

its been a long time, ... since my last entry

Now, aPril 2 (monday), my last final exam which was in Anache2 (analytical chem), and the exam was hard, it was difficult enough that i wasn't able to answer some numbers. it was harder than our final exam last friday (march30) in physical chem. I was disapointed and i am really disapointed with my grades this term (which is my 2nd to the last term), i only have 5 subjects on which one is just our thesis, and the other one is just a lab, which leaves 3 major chem subjects. I really wanted to have really high grades on all my subjects this term, but i think i wouldn't get what i want... this thing would really degrade me, degrade me from studying so hard, because it will not be that worth it anymore... i just wish to graduate, with an honorable mention title.

Studies, Chemistry society (organization) stuffs, these things sometimes stress me out.. there are many things to do, many requirements, deadlines... and by doing org stuffs,i sometimes (or often) cant concentrate on my studies well....

Oh well, Next term will be my last chance .. but still i have my thesis thing, the write up and the defense...

But before all that, SUMMER IS HERE!!! have fun, release the stress in me.... =)


Come to think of it,
I will be graduating soon (this october 2007), and i havent prepared for it. I just tell myself, "if things just come, they would just come...; and they also go".

A part of me feel happy because soon, i will finish my studies, and can fulfill my parents wish for me...
But, A part of me feel very sad, because i would really miss my student life where i could have FUN, be with my Friends, just do whatever i want even though there's limitations to it... and i would really miss studying, doing homeworks, doing school stuffs...
Also, feel nervous... on what will happen to me after graduation, .. can i get a nice high paying job? or will i even get a nice job? will i even have a chance to use the things i had learned?

mix emotions....how could i explain it?!...
~nah... thats just it...!

Many things run through my mind... and i just don't think of it...


But come to think of it, since around mid - February until now, i haven't think of anything... haven't think of any problems.. haven't think of any solutions... just think of my studies , think of wanting and achieving to be a dean's lister... and that's it! i am really glad...

Is it nice to know that i have kinda rested for around 2 months already, and i dont feel exhausted..

Thanks to me....

I just feel stress because of my studies, trying to push my grades really high, high enough to raise my CGPA (cumulative grade point average), stress because of some stuffs in school and plus Organization stuffs like the documents needed.

But, i like what im doing.. and i love what im doing...


My mind's thinking again, so my problems will come again? solutions and solutions will again pop out of my mind?

i will not let that happen, ... i will not think , that way again....it had made me tired before... tired enough to move, tired enough to study... and that will be bad for my goal...


Let's just change the topic before my mind think something stressful...


I really hate people who criticize on my work, when their work is worse than my work...

I dont want people who lie in front of me, or even on my back...

I just want to be me... i don't copy anyone, i don't try to be someone else and i would not change just to please anyone...

I am happy with just the way i am... Nobody's perfect ... and im sure , you know that...


arrgggghhh....

Stop this nonsense!!!
of course, who knows..., who am i talking to??!

No one knows.... Even I, i also don't know...
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