my Life's still a mystery...

i really don't know what to do...

i study hard coz i am hoping to achieve the grades that i want, then when i lose hope becoz of my results on some of my exams, .... i would not study anymore becoz its not already worth it.
and now, i know my result in pysche exam2, i got my hopes back.

i think , i wanna study hard again....having the hope and having my goal back are the things that helps me to study real hard.

but, come to think of it. i can achieve my goal. but my 3rd exam in pysche is a failure. of course, hope for the worse coz when i hope for the better, it turns out to be worse...

Why is this hope still coming back ?? hope always leaves me, and it always comes back all of a sudden.

it is the same for other things, when you wanna help somebody or everybody, and then afterwards, when you think life is unfair, you told yourself, on not to help becoz of how life is being unfair to you. But that isn't whats happening, it always still turns out that i am still helping.

I just wait for what we call as KARMA.

i dont know what's my purpose in life?
Maybe, ...
my purpose is to help everyone in need and help my friends...so, i was born to be a dedicated person .. dedicated in all the things that i do.
so i think i dont have a right to love anyone, and no right to achieve my own goal in studies... coz if i just live to help, anything i do won't still work to achieve my own dreams.
and also, i dont have a right to have my emotions, i dont have a right to be angry with anyone, becoz to help other people, i must always feel that not to help others is the time that i will feel very uneasy.

did u get my point?!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHANGE TOPIC!!!

(this is not related to the one above)
just wanna tell how i feel right now...

my head hurts a little little bit!!! i wanna spill this out already....its bad for the health..
but ang hirap ipilit eh...i will try to spill this out talaga. i still feel the air in my stomach.


Guys, (u know who u are and u must know who u are),
thanks so much.....with matching *sob*

i really had fun last night.
dont worry guys, if u need me, i will just be here...and u can trust me...
with matching Quote: "ang sarap nyo kasama" HAHAHAHA

______________________________________________________________________________

*no copyright infringement intended (nor any infringement) - if there's any