don't you ever think that life is really unfair?!
I DO now...
Before, i don't think much of my studies (of course, there's my other leisure stuffs
), because i know that i'll always pass my exams. and i always do think
positive.
Around august 2006, i became a little involve now on my studies, and i study much harder than before to get the grades that i wanted. and fortunately, i got a grip on my grade and my CGPA was
3.000, and this is only my second time to be a
dean's lister. My first time was last 3rd term of S.Y. 2004-2005 (freshmen years).
Just this term, i really became much dedicated on my studies
, its like that im a geek or a nerd in training. and then, just this month (november), i really am
IN LOVE 
with my studies. i was happy with the results of my first exam in pysche2 (physical chem), bioche2 (biochemistry), and chem0rg (organic chemistry) even though my grades aren't that high. Unfortunately, my second exam in bioche2 dissapointed me... i didn't get the grade that i want. and i really hate myself
about that because that was the time that i was really studying hard, unlike my first exam which i didn't study that hard because of the black-outs of milenyo days and it still got a much higher grade than this one. and now, im waiting for the results of chemorg and pysche2' 2nd exam result and hope my grades are okay.
Last night (nov 24), we had the 3rd and last exam for pysche (exclusive of the final exam), i didn't study the night before because i was really sick back then and uptil now, still im not in good condition. the exact day of the exam, that was the time which i studied, but when the exam started, i dont know what happen to me. maybe because i really feel cold at that time coz of my high fever, and i really feel bad but still wanted to get high grade on that exam because i expect more from myself. Because i am the one who's always answering all the problem sets since pysche1 (this is what im really disappointed about: many people had a higher grade than me even though im an the one answering and helping others*). i really hate myself last night because i went back again to what i had have on my pysche1.
1st:wrong R gas constant again, last time w/c means pysche1(instead of 8.314,i used 0.082 )
now in pysche2 (instead of using 0.082, i used 8.314)
2nd: derivations of osmotic pressure and the boiling point elevation confuses me at that time (coz of me not feeling well) and i think i interchange some conditions and assumptions
3rd: of course, last but not the least, instead, this is the greatest reas0n of all my disapointment. Is that i used the wrong formula. and what's worse? is that, on the time of the exam, i was going to derive the formula, but i feel a little lazy on doing it because i dont really feel well, and then i just tried to recall the formula, and after the exam: i just notice that instead of P= P2 + (P1-P2) X1 , i used P= P1 + (P1-P2) X1. and that's just the letter "a" question and of course, it is related to the letter "b" question so i was wrong in that whole number.
You wouldn't believe what happen to me last night....
just because of this stupid ambition in life.
~ KATZ: thanks for your good saying.i really appreciate it. i know what you mean, its just that ___... maybe you'll understand what i really feel.
i had really change from who i was before. Before, i was really a physically strong person but now, i don't think i am physically strong; mentally, maybe yes. And now, i don't think of other things except to just focus on my studies, and this is what had happened.
Why do i always don't get what i want???
Almost everything that i wanted, i always don't get it. there's always something that gets in my way.
i just wanted to have an award (of course, in academics), but why couldn't i?
Elementary and high school, i always strive hard but i still couldn't get it, even just the 5th place... why is it always the best in leadership , and that't not even academic and in academic, even though im always on the top ten, i don't get any awards.
you can say that im bitter but that's what i really wanna say.
in College, just wanted to continue my dream... duh? and then, even if i study or i do study, i still get the same grades. is that because that's my destiny? and everything happens for a reason?!
so, IF i FAIL pysche2, i would really regret it. because it will be my FIRST TIME and duh?! i am the one whose always helping and who always do everything (ano akala ng iba, na im not busy, HOY! i got so much to do, mas marami pa sa ginagawa nyo na leisure. Mine's are not always leisure). I always help others, and others don't help me.,, they are just "sell their fish" (you know what im talking about if you're CORNY)
~ Sleep for just about 7 hours, HOUSEHOLD CHORES (cleaning, washing the plates, washing ang hanging the clothes, cooking (but of course, the easy ones only coz i don't know why i don't cook), computer (doing the reports, the NEED to do like homeworks and this is the part that i spend much time because for some REASONS plus i still have other curricular activities and i love having that), and STUDY for a while coz do not have enough time to do that.
Don't you think i need a rest?
i am not a God nor a Superwoman (which means woman with super powers). im just an ordinary teenage girl who has its own dream and not YOUR DREAM. and now, im already sick(fever, cough, cold, and still got a headache), and still expect me to be a superwoman, i know that i just get sick once in a BLUE MOON but im not a GOD. i am not perfect, and nobody is...
OH MY GOD!!! 
pls help me,.. you know there's what we called as KARMA, right?! hope na ma-KARMA un others.(i hate to be bad, but i just wanna express myself out!!!) i just hate people like that; you help them in sooooo many ways, and they don't help you even on just a certain small things. you think small things are small but they still count. hope you absorb my point! (i mean, hope you get what i mean - just goofing around to change the mood)
*Im not just talking about on my studies, there are a lot of things that you can compare this with.
Here's my new saying again:
Wala sa sipag at tiyaga yan, nasa kapalaran mo yan.
this is what i really mean on this: even if you study harder, you would still get the grade that you must have.. its like that if you're destined to have an that certain thing, then you will, even if you just effort a little.
Greediness brings you to success... and that's TRUE! that's what i can SEE.
because THAT'S LIFE!!!
& LIFE is TAFT, i mean TOUGH! (just joking around to change the mood)...
you may thought that i am bad or (insert other negative traits/personalities), but i am just pointing out the reality. Its not that i really wanna have an award/s or something but there's this something what you called self-EGO or 'pride' (not the detergent). There's a REASON for everything and i have my own reasons on why this and not that.
* hope you would understand and 'NO HARD FEELINGS' (if may tinamaan man or something).
* SORRY talaga to whom na tinatamaan but im only telling the truth. and i just wanted to say OUT LOUD what i wanna say.and this is for my own good, para matahimik at mapakali na ako. PEACE!!!
* ika-nga EXPRESS YOURSELF on a BLOG!!! duh?! why would you have a blog then.
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*no copyright infringement intended (nor any infringement) - if there's any
; because (e.g.) even though i am sleeping , i can still think of these things.
afterwhich, gari had also left. aju, shiong, mario, maan, me, kateng were the only ones left at ofel's house and of course, she was also there. at around 5 , we all left at ofel's house already... but before going back to TAFT, we first went to Mario's house (because mario will change his shirt). then we went back Along TAFT, mario, shiong, maan, aju, and me went to 
of course, there are pictures again and PLUS videos!!!
